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Have you ever noticed that migraines don't just bring pain?
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They slowly train you to cancel the very life you love.
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Welcome to Migraine Heroes, a podcast for people living with chronic migraines with years of pain,
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misunderstanding and lack of answers.
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I'm Diane Ducarme. I've helped more than a thousand people reduce the burden of migraines and feel more in control.
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My mission in life? To help a million people.
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Each episode brings you grounded insight into what your body might be asking for and what can truly help.
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Just to keep you fully supported, this podcast is educational.
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For diagnosis or medication, always work with your doctor.
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Now take a breath and let's dive in.
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In this episode, you will learn why migraines often create a hidden psychological loop that slowly pushes you to cancel more and more of your life.
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isolation and stress can unintentionally fuel future migraines and how understanding the cycle can help you interrupt it.
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One simple step you can take today to begin reclaiming small pieces of your life, even while living with migraines.
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Stay with me till the end of this episode because I will share with you one small but powerful step
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you can take today to begin breaking the canceling cycle without pushing your body too hard.
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So Jessica was one of my customers and her story may feel very familiar if you live with chronic migraine.
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Jessica would love making plans.
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She would love saying yes to dinners, birthdays, walks with friends and all of the small moments that make life full.
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And each time she'd make a plan, there was a quiet hope in the back of her mind.
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Maybe this time it would be different.
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But sometimes a few hours before the event, she would start noticing the signs. The lights beginning to feel sharper,
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there was a pressure building behind her eyes, a strange fatigue settling in that migraine sufferers recognize.
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and then she'd write a message that she had sent too many times.
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I'm so sorry, I can't make it tonight.
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Of course, the people around would be kind,
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they would understand,
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they would say no to discouragements and it's all one step.
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They are able to make you feel very comfortable inside any time and she would believe them
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so please try. Jessica would also support herself.
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Of course, the people around would be kind,
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they would understand,
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they would say no worries,
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but each time it happened, something deeper hurt her, not just in her head, but in her sense of reliability, in her sense of belonging,
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even a small piece or a large piece of her identity.
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And so over time, Jessica started to notice something else happening,
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she began anticipating the disappointment before it even occurred.
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And that anticipation slowly started shaping her behavior.
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She would hesitate before saying yes,
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she would calculate the risks,
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sometimes she would simply stop planning things all together.
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Because when migraines repeat itself often enough, it doesn't only interrupt your day,
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it can slowly begin to change the way you move through life.
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This is true for Jessica, but it's also so true for thousands of conversations I've held.
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People with migraines have no choice but to make their life smaller.
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The burden starts to cast a shadow on their real personality.
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Now globally, migraine affects over a billion people, making it one of the most disabling neurological conditions worldwide.
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But disability is not only measured in pain intensity, it is measured in missed birthdays, canceled dinners, skipped vacations, and friendships and family ties that slowly fade.
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Several studies actually show that migraine has a profound effect on social life.
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A study produced in neurology found that people with chronic migraines report significantly higher levels of social withdrawal, relationship strain, and reduced participation in social activities.
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And this is where something important begins to happen psychologically,
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When an activity repeatedly precedes pain or embarrassment, the brain begins to avoid that activity.
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Psychologists call that avoidance conditioning.
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A paper published in Headache describes how chronic pain patients often develop behavioral avoidance patterns where individuals gradually withdraw from social activities to reduce the risk of pain or perceived failure.
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This pattern may seem protective at first.
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If you cancel early, you avoid being in pain in public,
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if you stay at home, you avoid disappointing people,
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But over time, the avoidance begins to create its own emotional consequences.
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Studies show that social withdrawal can increase depression, loneliness, and perceived stress.
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A longitudinal study in cephalalgia found that depression and anxiety were strongly associated with increased migraine frequency and severity.
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And this is where the loops can start to form.
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Let's walk through it slowly together.
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At first, a migraine attack happens and you cancel plans.
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Then comes the guilt.
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You may feel unreliable.
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You may feel you're letting people down.
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Then something subtle begins to happen.
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You start avoiding making plans in the first place because canceling plans hurts, because explaining hurts, because feeling like a burden hurts.
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This leads to social withdrawal.
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And humans are biologically wired for connection.
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But when connection decreases, sadness and stress increase.
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And stress is one of the most well-documented migraine triggers.
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So the loop becomes self-reinforcing.
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You have migraine, you cancel plans, you have guilt, you withdraw socially, you experience sadness, experience stress.
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And with that sadness and stress, migraines compound.
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And that cycle is rarely talked about.
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Because from the outside, it just looks like someone who cancels often.
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But from the inside, it feels like grieving a life you once imagined and being so scared about the future.
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And grief is not weakness.
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It's just the natural response to loss.
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Now, I want to make you a promise here.
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At Migraine Heroes, I work, we work relentlessly to break that cycle.
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We know it's possible.
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We've done it over and over again.
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We also know that we can have exceptional results. That the migraine pain can resurface 2-3 years later in a different way. Or be really stubborn to fade.
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That is why we're developing the Migraine Heroes app. To be always on the go with you and be able to guide you in all types of situations.
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What you go through is real. And we are fueled to say that enough is enough.
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And even when the world right now is more busy to hit on one another, I still think your cause is immensely beautiful and gratifying.
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The gift of being able to give you, not just your life, but your personality back. As hard as that may be,
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we're coming for you.
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Now let's go east for a minute.
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Traditional Chinese medicine offers a very different lens for understanding this experience.
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In Chinese medicine, health is not simply the absence of pain.
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Health is the smooth flow of your life energy. Your qi. Through your body, through your mind, through your spirit.
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And migraines is often times understood as a disturbance of this flow.
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But what is fascinating is that traditional Chinese medicine has long recognized that emotional suppression and social withdrawal can disturb some of your systems. Namely your liver system, which governs the smooth movement of that energy.
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In traditional Chinese medicine philosophy, the liver, your liver system, is responsible for allowing life to flow freely, physically and emotionally.
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There's an ancient saying that is when the liver qi flows freely, a person lives with ease.
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But when your emotions become trapped, especially frustration, sadness, anxiety, or unexpressed grief, liver qi can stagnate.
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And when it stagnates, your energy begins to rise upward towards the head.
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Now I really want to acknowledge these are really complex concepts, but they are so tested with time. That rising energy is believed to contribute to headache and migraines.
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So think the top of your head migraines in particular, your temple migraines, migraines across your eyebrows. When you feel that sort of mounting pressure in your neck that announces the next migraine attack, those families.
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In other words, the emotional experience of holding back life can literally translate into energy rising to the head.
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There's also a deeper cultural wisdom here.
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Chinese philosophy often emphasizes balance between participation and rest, not withdrawal, not overexertion, but rhythm.
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The Tao teaching says, nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
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In the migraine experience, many people move between two extremes.
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They push too hard when they feel slightly better.
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They push through,
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pushing through is a word I hear so many times,
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then withdrawing completely after pain. This creates an unstable rhythm in the nervous system.
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Traditional Chinese medicine instead encourages gentle continuity with life, not the pressure to attend everything, but also not abandoning life completely.
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Our Juvena expresses a similar idea, teaches that isolation increases Vata imbalance, which governs the nervous system.
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When Vata becomes unstable, symptoms such as head pain, sensory sensitivity, and nervous system overload may worsen.
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Connection, warmth, and steady routines are considered medicine for the nervous system.
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So from an Eastern perspective, the cancelling life loop is not just psychological, it's an energetic contraction of life.
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And healing is not about forcing yourself back into everything,
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it's about gently reopening small pathways back to life.
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One conversation, one walk, one moment of connection,
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little by little, your qi or energy begins to move again.
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So what can you do today about this?
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Because this is a complex one.
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I want you to try something very small, but powerful.
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I want you to make one plan that is migraine flexible.
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So instead of committing to a full event, choose something that allows easy adjustments.
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For example, invite a friend for a short walk instead of a long dinner.
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Plan tea instead of a loud restaurant.
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Tell the person in advance if migraine starts, I may need to leave early.
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This is going to remove pressure from perfection and sends a powerful signal to your brain.
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Life is still possible, even in small ways.
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And those small ways matter more than you think.
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Now, what Jessica would tell me instead is, I was with my friend and we were having lunch outside, and I felt like a migraine coming on.
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I did not have to say anything.
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I asked a waiter to bring me a cup of hot water and I put my recommended migraine healers tea of the moment, whatever it was.
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We work with 900 foods
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and I was able to stay and enjoy that gorgeous lunch.
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And that does make Jessica a hero.
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That is what I'm referring to.
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We've been doing this over and over and over again in a human form.
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We are committed to bringing that type of knowledge and practice to a million people, one person at a time,
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starting with you today in this podcast. Keep an eye for us.
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We're coming a long way and we've been marching since 2019.
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The roads to making all of that possible is long, but it's incredibly rewarding because it makes it such a huge and blessing change in your lives
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and it is so much worth to ours.
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And remember, every small step you take moves you closer to freedom,
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you are powerful, you are resilient, and you're not alone. Surprising
