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Healthy, driven, a perfectionist, but the migraine kept coming back.
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Welcome to Migraine Heroes, a podcast for anyone living with migraine and wondering
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why nothing has fully worked yet.
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I'm Diane Ducarme.
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Over the past 7 years, I've helped hundreds of people living with migraine.
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What I've learned?
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No two migraine stories are exactly the same, and none of them are simple.
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That is why, in this podcast, we explore migraine from many different angles, food,
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hormones, stress, sleep, the nervous system, emotions, and much more, through the lens
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of both modern science and traditional Chinese medicine.
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A quick note before we start.
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What we talk about here is educational.
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For anything related to diagnosis or medication, please keep working with your doctor.
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Now take a deep breath and let's dive in.
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Thank you so much for being with me today.
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Thanks for having me.
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So today we want to talk about your story and your life.
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Do you want to say a few words about where you are located, what you do in life, so people
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can situate you in your home?
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I am in Ontario, Canada.
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Currently, I am self-employed.
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I have financial planning practice with my husband.
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We have a 7-year-old son.
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So let's go into migraine history.
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How did it start in the first place?
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So my first memory of migraine was, my mom was saying it was like I was around four or
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And my first memory is just, yeah, intense pain.
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I'd have to go to my room, lie in bed.
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I would be pretty much stripped down to like my underwear and undershirt.
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I'd have a cold washcloth on my forehead.
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My mom would have to tape the sides of the blinds closed so that no light could get in.
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I would wear sunglasses on my eyes.
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And I still remember the taste of like the chewable children's Tylenol that she would
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give me because my mom was like, she didn't know what else to do.
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And then how often did they occur at that age?
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I do have those memories.
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So I assume it occurred often enough that I would have that memory pretty ingrained
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in my head that that's, oh, this is what we do when this happens.
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And so did it sometimes happen in bizarre situations like at school or?
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You know, it was a huge trigger for me is my family.
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We didn't go out for meals very often or to a restaurant, but when we did, it was way
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back in the day where there were smoking sections and non-smoking sections.
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And cigarette smoke was a huge trigger for me.
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And so I do recall that like, oh no, you know, there's people smoking and we always go to
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the non-smoking section, but smoke travels, of course.
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And so I remember a lot of times like having to leave the restaurant or just getting sick
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while we were trying to have a nice family meal out that we rarely did.
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So it was a special occasion.
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What happens next?
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One thing I did want to share, my mom told me a story that when I was in grade one, she
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went to a parent teacher interview and my grade one teacher was a little bit concerned
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because like if I did an activity or assignment or drawing, whatever it might be, if it wasn't
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perfect or according to my standards, I would just like ball it up and throw it on the floor
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and I would just, you know, do that multiple times.
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Like I've always been a very driven perfectionist kind of personality.
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And I know that that can sometimes go hand in hand with chronic pain symptoms.
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And so I've been learning a lot and I'm just kind of putting some of the puzzle pieces
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together and like, oh, okay, that makes sense.
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And I do remember, I think it was my first, the first time I got my menses, I remember,
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I think I was 12, like it was a fairly normal age to get it.
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I was in the bathroom and then I just remember like I couldn't see, like I lost my vision.
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And I was like feeling my way down the hall.
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And I remember a man, I don't know if it was the janitor or another father or teacher,
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he's just like, are you okay?
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And I was just like, I just didn't know what to do.
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And I remember just like my mom had to come and pick me up from school because I was just,
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you know, I had a lot, I don't know if that's a migraine symptom, like I don't recall like
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having extreme pain, but I know like the visual thing was, yeah, it was very extreme.
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Can you describe the visual thing?
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I just, I couldn't really see, like I had lost, I don't know if it was just like lights
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in my eyes or what, but I just remember I literally had to like feel down the hallway
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in order to get to like the school office because I couldn't really see.
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So what happens next is more so my symptom kind of turned into a, an eating disorder.
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So I developed an eating disorder in high school, but during that time I didn't really
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I think because my body's like, okay, you're distracted enough with this eating disorder.
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We don't also have to give you a migraine.
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And so that kind of traveled with me kind of into university a little bit as well.
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I also lost my period during that time.
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So I had hypothalamic amenorrhea.
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I remember vividly even our first call when I, when I did the introductory call with you,
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is you had mentioned, you know, there's a genetic component, but then when it's before
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kind of the age of menses, like when it's in childhood, there's a strong trauma component
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and that's where it kind of clicked for me.
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I had never put those two things together until you said it.
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And I was like, oh my goodness, this makes so much sense now.
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That's kind of where I was like, huh, there's something to this.
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And now I understand what you mean.
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Which is super important.
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Over the years, we've realized if there was childhood trauma, which we ask again, as a
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really important question, we really needed to help the vagus nerve restore its normal
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function of dress and digest.
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There was a default mode to being a fright or flight in that super tense situation.
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So what you describe of perfectionism, that just being constantly on edge, your body learns
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to cope with being constantly under pressure.
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And so you move forward in your life and then, and then the migraine come back.
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So I got married and, but because I had not changed sort of the over-exercising, my circadian
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rhythm was totally off.
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And so I remember the doctor saying, you know what, exercise is healthy.
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You know, we can give you these shots and do these things.
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And so I told my husband, I'm like, okay, just give me six months.
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I'm going to sort this out.
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I want to figure this out before we go down this road, because clearly something's wrong.
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Like having your period is a vital sign, right?
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And something's not going on with my body.
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And so I actually found this book and so I read it and it was basically, yeah, you
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need to stop exercising so hard and you need to eat some fat in your diet because I also
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grew up in the low fat craze.
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It's like to eat healthy is to eat low fat.
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And so I was over-exercising and under eating fat.
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So of course my body couldn't produce sex hormones, right?
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And so I did that and my cycle returned like two months later and then I got one more cycle
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after that and then I got pregnant.
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And so that was beautiful.
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And then I breastfed for quite a while.
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So my period, again, didn't return quickly.
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But then eventually I started, I kind of actually, I sort of went keto carnivore for a while
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and it actually got my cycle back.
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But then with my cycle coming back, the migraines came back.
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And so that's kind of where this whole thing precipitated again, like, oh crap, like why
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am I getting migraines again?
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Like I do remember before getting pregnant, I would get the odd like migraine.
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My migraine is typically when it does shift here and there, but typically, especially
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before I started the Migraine Heroes program and actually, you know, trying to be strategic
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about it all, it was typically a right eye migraine for three days.
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I would just have to shut myself in the room, just sleep extra, keep the light away kind
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And then I had that maybe, like, while I was not having a period before all of this, like
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maybe once a quarter, if that, maybe a couple of times a year, like it would still rear
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its head once in a while, but it wasn't like hindering my life, if you could say that in
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a way that was, you know, really interfering.
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But then once I got my period back after stopping breastfeeding and all of that, then that's
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when they became more frequent.
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And again, I have the type A, I've always like, other than obviously eating disorder
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is very unhealthy, but I've always lived the quote unquote healthy lifestyle.
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Like I've always, you know, eaten well, I've exercised, even when I dialed it down to a
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healthy level, I've still always maintained that.
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I'm like, why am I still getting migraines?
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Like this doesn't make sense.
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And so that's sort of when I, I heard you on a podcast and I was like, okay, like, let's
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I'm like, what do I have to lose?
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I'm like, this sounds great.
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And so I took that quiz and when I took the quiz, I literally, it felt like you were reading
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I was like, how does she know all of these different symptoms and all of these different
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things I've experienced?
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And I was like, wow.
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And so it actually gave me some hope too, because then especially after talking with
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you, I just knew I needed guidance.
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I'd tried for so long to fix things on my own, whether it's migraine or anything, I've
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always been very independent.
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I can figure it out.
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And I just realized that, you know what, I need some outside independent help.
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Actually, one of the biggest changes I made when I started the program, I think for a
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couple months, I still turned a little bit to some of the over-counter pain medications
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just at night to help me sleep.
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I did like the foot baths that you recommended, like I will, there was, those were lovely.
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Actually it was so cute.
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My seven-year-old son, I'd be like, hey, mommy's going to do a foot soak.
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He'd grab his little chair, he'd lift up his pants and he'd like put his feet in with me
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and we'd, and we'd play chess while we're doing a foot soak.
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So yeah, and he would, he'd get right all into it.
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So yeah, it was really sweet moments like that.
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Jessica said something earlier that I hear so often.
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She tried for so long to fix things on her own.
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If that sounds like you, you're far from alone.
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Jessica's patterns was hers and yours may look completely different.
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The Migraine Heroes app takes you through the same kind of questions she answered to
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help you start seeing what your own body has been trying to tell you.
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I have two questions for you.
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One is oftentimes people just like numbers.
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When your menstruation came back, how often would you have migraine and then how long
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would you say it took you to have results?
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I would probably get a migraine a month or six weeks because again, my cycle was still
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regulating so typically it would be that right eye, three-day migraine.
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It did kind of transfer.
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Sometimes I would get like a left eye mostly coming on in the evenings that kind of shifted
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a little bit here and there.
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But then once I started the program, I did see progress.
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I do feel that probably within the last six months is where I've seen the most progress.
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I think actually in August, I think I'm coming up on two years on the program.
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So like it's just consistently every single time been getting better and better if the
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And with no migraine, which is beautiful.
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So what single advice would you have for women who have migraine?
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I would say for like, just relaxing.
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I think the fear of having a migraine is the worst thing that you can have because I would
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fear like if I even felt like a tinge, I'm very in tune with my body.
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If I even feel like a tinge somewhere, like I'm like, oh no, is this the migraine coming
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And so I would say just kind of, you know, yeah, like wear it loosely.
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Like don't think, don't catastrophize right away that this is like the start of something
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because even if it wasn't, it might just because you're fearing it.
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It's easier said than done.
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Like it's hard, like just don't be afraid or don't, you know, just think safe thoughts.
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Like it doesn't work that way.
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But if at all you can or get to know your body and your emotions and yeah, and don't
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be afraid to try new foods.
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They're actually usually tasty.
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You know, when I really think of you and I think it's always true, it's like getting
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over the edge of migraine is usually a transformation.
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It's a transformation of what's happening inside the body, but also how you perceive
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and you feel with your external world.
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And so having a big picture of you being truly you and not just a copy version of yourself
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of being who you're meant to be.
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I think it's really beautiful.
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That's the other wonderful part too of, you know, again, I don't know what's going to
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happen in six months if I will, like, you know, who knows if it's the end of my migraine
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But, you know, it is nice that when you mentioned just about the family, it's like when you,
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when you do have them in more frequent and you're kind of down for the count for two
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or three days, like you kind of feel like, which only adds fuel to the fire, is like
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you feel like you're failing as a wife, failing as a mother because you're not able to do
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the things you normally do or be attentive.
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You kind of almost feel like you just have to be selfish for those few days just to get
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And so, yeah, it's just to have that freedom now and yeah, just to be fully present and
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just, you know, just live with gratitude because even if I was still experiencing them all
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the time, there's always things to be grateful for and, you know, but I'm just so grateful
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for you and your team and just kind of the start to this whole journey and just finding
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And, you know, all of these things fell in place.
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Like, I don't think it's a coincidence.
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I think it's divine intervention.
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And yet, yeah, I'm just so grateful for you guys and my great heroes.
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The feeling is really reciprocal and a huge thank you for all of those people you're helping
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I really, really mean it.
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Thank you so much.
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And my biggest tip is just do not lose hope.
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There's always hope and there's always progress.
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That's all for today.
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I hope this episode added one more piece to your migraine puzzle.
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Migraine is complex, but it's not random.
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Every time we understand a little more of it, we move one step closer to lasting relief.
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If you'd like to apply what we've discussed to your own life, you can find us by searching
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Migraine Heroes in the App Store or Google Play.
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Look for the green icon with the love heart in the brain.
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Your body has a story to tell.
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Let's keep listening.
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I will be back with you soon.
